08 Mar 2026 20:55:35
Anyone else seen the rumours linking Dyche with Spurs? That would be bizarre if he’s managing them when we go there.
09 Mar 2026 09:54:24
I don't think it's that bizarre Stevie. It looks like the Tudor dynasty at Spurs will be much shorter in length than the original, mate.
As for Dyche, any owner of a struggling team would be very foolish indeed not to employ the survival specialist par excellence... er.
Hang on. 🤔🙄😂
09 Mar 2026 16:56:54
Tudor looks more like a magician than a coach!
As long as he doesn't sing that song of his, 'Swords of a Thousand Men', we should be ok!
09 Mar 2026 19:06:21
Norfolk. 😂
09 Mar 2026 19:14:07
You wouldn't want to cross him. He's a giant and looks a hard lad.
09 Mar 2026 20:56:15
Stokey, he's an inch taller but 3 stone lighter than I am. At his age, he wouldn't have liked to have crossed me. 😊
09 Mar 2026 22:49:50
Just in case I'm wrong on this one, Stevie, and you are in fact Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in disguise, my advisers have told me to clarify that my remark was in jest, right? (Cue nervous laughter). 😅 😅
09 Mar 2026 23:37:40
Stokey, who? Is he a pantomime wrestler or something?. 😊
09 Mar 2026 22:22:02
You must be a right fat bar steward then Stevie .😂😂😂😂😂
10 Mar 2026 06:44:13
Stokey, no one who has ever met me has ever described me as fat. 😊
10 Mar 2026 10:22:45
Or, I'm thinking, lived to tell the tale...?
10 Mar 2026 11:04:23
There you go again, Stokey. 😊 I didn't spend time in the forces falling out with everyone who took the p***. Thought you, of all people, would realise that wouldn't have worked. 😊
10 Mar 2026 12:03:26
Catering Corps was it, Stevie? 😂😂😂
10 Mar 2026 15:23:47
Stokey, Royal Marine Commando, actually.
10 Mar 2026 18:19:13
Stokey, what were you, a traffic warden?
10 Mar 2026 19:45:18
Firstly, Stevie, if that's the case then total respect to you. You will get no more piss takes or jibes from me, ever.
I had a member of "The Green Death" on my shift at Central. Falklands veteran, great bloke, and a superb cop. Fit as a butcher's dog, he lived near Long Eaton and would cycle to and from there to Nottm City Centre every shift. He had loads of liberated Argentinian Army kit, water bottles, towels, belts, boots, etc. He passed all the tests for SBS except, crucially, orienteering. He couldn't read a map to save his life. The only bad thing I could say about him was that he was a Derby fan, but there you go, we all have a cross to bear, don't we?
Secondly, in answer to your question, I did all my 30 years' service in a front line operational role, uniform and CID, with stints on Vice and Drugs.
I reached the substantive rank of Sergeant, Patrol and Custody, but was lucky enough to do a few years as Acting Inspector and retire on an Inspector's pension.
I was never a traffic warden, but I did once put a parking ticket on a Rolls belonging to one of the Batchelors outside the Commodore. 😂😂😂
I was in close protection and escort to the Polish Pope in Coventry in 1982, plus Cliff Richard, Princess Di, and, most pleasingly, Gary Davis, the DJ. 🙄🙄
10 Mar 2026 20:17:30
Stokey, you have my undying gratitude for nicking The Batchelors. Always thought their act was criminal. 😂 I was only taking p**s, obviously, because of the Catering Corps jibe. 😊 I wasn't being disrespectful to your career, I thought you were aware of my past life many moons ago, and was winding me up.
10 Mar 2026 21:28:11
No, mate, I had no idea. I would never knowingly disrespect any former or current member of the armed forces. Just eternally grateful and in awe of what they go through on our behalf.
12 Mar 2026 23:01:25
C'mon Stokey - take the p*** out of the Royals as all the Squaddies do! I served alongside them in NI and 'elsewhere'. Without doubt, top quality soldiers who I really respected but a bit too much in touch with their 'feminine side' for my liking! Very 'touchy-feely' which I never felt comfortable with.
Wasn't it the Borat comedy sketch where he said Marines are just like the Army, but gay.
13 Mar 2026 13:11:24
I'll leave the p'ss taking to you Lego mate, as a fellow Brother in Arns! As a civvy, I don't feel I've earned the right.
I may have mentioned before that 7 of my 12-person shift I had the pleasure of supervising at Central were ex-military (Marine, Para, Forester, Submariner, RMP, Navy Radio Operator and Welsh Guardsman).
They all remorselessly took the mick out of each other. Some of it was quite near the knuckle, but I made a point of staying out of it...
13 Mar 2026 22:05:07
Just for a bit of fun Stokey - I'll put in a bit of ex-Int Corps banter about each of your seven:
Royal Marines - great soldiers with a superb sense of dry humour. Slightly gay with a tendency to dress in women's clothing at any opportunity.
Parachute Regiment - great soldiers yet with no sense of humour, which has been buried due to their own arrogance. Wilt into the background when you explain that you have done parachuting too and then beat them in a BFT run.
Foresters - who.cares? Always an also-ran Rgt.
Submariners - even more gay than the Royals. Always smell very strange after 6 months submerged on a nuke sub with the weird stuff they put into the Aircon system.
RMP - universally hated throughout the Army. Mostly failed civvy police recruits. Usually billeted with the Int Corps for their own protection.
Navy radio operator - more civvy than a civvy.
Welsh Guards - brilliant at drill but rubbish soldiers in the field. Mostly foul-mouthed morons from the Valleys who would otherwise be stealing off their Mums.
14 Mar 2026 08:30:39
Lego. 😂😂😂
14 Mar 2026 09:23:09
Lego, I'm a bit older than you, mate, not the bootnecks I remember (honest. 😂). I always said giving recruits 2 or 3 chances to pass bottom field at Lympstone would have an affect on quality. 😊 According to some on here I've no sense of humour, so maybe "Mr Angry" here should have been sporting a maroon lid instead of a green one.
😊 I should be shot for even thinking that. 😊 Anyway, mate, I'm used to 'craphat' jealousy over the years, I'll get over it. 👍 😂
14 Mar 2026 10:39:44
Lego and Stevie
You will both recall that I stopped my comments on Trump on here out of respect for Mrs Bowie, "the yank", who is herself both a veteran and DT supporter, so I’m being consistent at least.
I’ll leave you two to it for the reason I gave earlier, my friends.
I’m reminded of this bit of Wilfred Owens poem "Apologia Pro Poemate Meo" (An Apology for my Poetry)....
"I have made fellowships
Untold of happy lovers in old song.
For love is not the binding of fair lips
With the soft silk of eyes that look and long,
But Joy, whose ribbon slips__
But wound with wars hard wire
Whose stakes are strong;
Bound with the bandage of the arm that drips;
Knit in the welding of the rifle thong.
Nevertheless, except you share
With them in Hell the sorrowful dark of Hell,
Whose world is but the trembling of a flare,
And Heaven but as the highway for a shell,
You shall not hear their mirth;
You shall not come to think them well content
By any jest of mine.
These men are worth
Your tears; You are not worth their merriment".
Owen was a lieutenant in the Manchesters, killed by German artillery exactly a week before the Armistice whilst leading his platoon across a canal in France. His mother in his home town of Oswestry received the dreaded telegram on the same day as the bells were ringing out to celebrate Peace and Victory.
A gay man, he could have stayed in Craiglockhart, a hospital in Scotland for men suffering from shell shock (PTSD as it is known now) until the end of the War, but chose to go back to his unit in the trenches.
As I say, I’m not worthy to banter or jibe with those who have served their country....
I must say the Welsh lad took a lot of stick but gave as good as he got. I remember that when he mentioned that the Welsh Guards had escorted Princess Di’s funeral through London the Falklands vets (Para and Marine) both remarked that it was the furthest he'd even seen them march.....
14 Mar 2026 11:17:00
Stokey, brilliant. 👍
14 Mar 2026 13:29:04
Stokey, you served your country just in a different way.
15 Mar 2026 21:21:00
I don't know about you, Stevie, but I think Stokey served his country in a way many Veterans could not have done. I admire him for that.
I can't imagine myself, or most of the other Veterans that I know, having the balanced-view, tolerance, and cool-headed nature that Coppers are expected to have nowadays.
Personally, I couldn't have done it.
16 Mar 2026 12:51:54
Thank you for your kind words, Stevie and Lego, much appreciated.
It could have easily been the case that I'd opted for a military career when I was 18 and then 21. I explored that possibility and went for careers interviews with the armed forces and Police. But I was clearly being pushed towards Officer training by the former in view of my A levels then degree ( I'm not bragging or being arrogant, just saying how it was). I didn't fancy that at the time as I got the impression ( IF i'd got through the training) that I'd be stuck on a base in northern Germany, in the equivalent of a Gentlemen's club of "Ruperts" bored out of my head with the odd tour of North Ireland.Likewise the RAF and the Navy were subject of a shrunken Empire with fewer and fewer ships and nothing East of Aden.
No one ( particularly successive British Governments) could have foreseen the Falklands. Even back then the RN had more Admirals than ships. It was heading to where it is now, moored up in UK ports to save money and for maintenance. As per the HMS Dragon disgrace. We only have around 23 ships and subs on total. So I went for the daily adventures of a Police Career. Which I enjoyed thoroughly.
The road not taken eh? .
It's always amazes me that one takes life changing decisions when one is of an age where you know Jack 💩about the world. But, here we are .