20 Aug 2024 13:23:16
Anyway.
My mate has just found out that he's failed his RAF entrance exam.
Apparently the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band. ?
I finally got to see my GP yesterday but when I showed him the rash on my knackers he just ignored me and carried on shopping. How rude is that?. ??
Do you know why hurricanes are given women's names?
It's because when they come they're wild and wet but when they go they take your house and car. ???
Finally, you'll be glad to hear.
The other day I went to a Chinese takeaway. Whilst I was waiting the guy behind the counter asked me " What do you do for a riving? "
I said "I'm a bit of a comedian"
He said "Ok so change colour"
I said "No I'm a comedian not a chameleon "
He said "ok tell me a joke, make me raff"
Suddenly I looked behind him and saw his pan was on fire"
I shouted "Wok! Wok! "
He said "Who's there "? ????.
20 Aug 2024 15:47:34
Inspired!
20 Aug 2024 18:21:42
Not posted here for a year or two but that made me laugh.
20 Aug 2024 18:44:10
You're a funny guy Stokey - that's why I'm going to kill you last.
20 Aug 2024 19:56:58
Laughter definitely the best medicine….
Has everybody heard the best jokes from this year’s Edinburgh Fringe……here they are, see what u think….
My ambition was to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but in the end I bottled it……
My Dad used to always say to me “ Son, remember pints, quarts and gallons”. I think that speaks volumes…
My brother has become obsessed with me becoming an Organ Donor. I think he’s a man after my own heart …
So, why is it considered high brow to look at make genitalia in a Classical Art Gallery but decidedly low brow to get your cock out in Wetherspoons? ….
20 Aug 2024 23:43:28
Sometimes the simplest jokes are the best, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects such as disabilities.
My favourite joke about amputations:
'I went to an amputee party last night.
That place was literally crawling with pussy'.
Night Reds.
21 Aug 2024 07:14:20
You may of started something Stokey on other Banter sites, Corkywhite posts jokes in Leeds banter, his joke about the Afghan going to Liverpool is good ?.
21 Aug 2024 08:54:39
I've heard it is Stokey cracking the jokes on the Leeds site. You never see them on both sites at the same time do you?. Corkywhite? StokeyRed? Hmmm. The similarities are endless. ???.
21 Aug 2024 09:18:48
I've seen this one
The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes. The lad is a sensation. He scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. ‘Hello mum, guess what? ’ he says ‘I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me. ’ ‘Wonderful, ’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day … Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you tell me that you were having a great time. ’ The young lad is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, but I’m really sorry. ‘Sorry?! Sorry?! ’ says his mum, ‘It’s your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the first place! ’.
21 Aug 2024 09:37:33
Me on a dirty Leeds site? Polly, go and wash your mouth out mate! ???? ( However, I might have a sneak look if I get 5 minutes)
21 Aug 2024 10:05:15
Excellent joke Polly! ??.
21 Aug 2024 10:16:47
You should be called Sherlock Pollard?.